Reasons Lee Holloway is Better Than That 50 Shades Girl
Added 2024-01-17 09:42:16 +0000 UTC- Lee came to the words, “Just one scoop of creamed potatoes, one slice of butter, and four peas.” That should honestly be enough to settle it, so I don’t know why you’re sitting there waiting for more.
- Lee let her boyfriend put a saddle on her back and a carrot in her mouth because she thought it was glorious. That 50 Shades Girl let her boyfriend spank her to prove he was evil. Like… you know… you and I. We’re all evil by her summation.
- I remember Lee Holloway’s surname. I don't even remember That Other Person's first name.
- Okay, let’s deal with the elephant in the room. I only watched 50 Shades out of curiosity. Then I watched it a second time out of curiosity, too. Then I watched it a third time out of curiosity again. Can I have my kink cred back now?
- Edward Grey thought his kinks made him a bad person, and Lee told him she loved all his badness. Christian Grey thought his kinks made him a bad person and That Other Person assured him that he was, indeed, a bad person, but that she could tolerate him if he changed.
- Lee kept her hands flat on the desk for three days to prove her love. That Other Person required her beau to prove he wasn't a muddy slug hot-tubbing in a sewage puddle.
- Lee breathed poetry. The Other Person mainly just breathed really loudly when there was a feather in the room.
- Lee put roaches and worms in her boyfriend’s things. She was the queen of brats. That Other Person was the queen of twats.
- No, I’m not being too harsh, because Lee Holloway’s journey was one of self-acceptance and growth, just like her guy's. The Other Person’s lesson was one of vague tolerance, and who has ever grown in that kind of soil?
- Lee said, “Each cut, each scar, each burn, a different mood or time. I told him what the first one was. I told him where the second one came from. I remembered them all, and for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful; finally part of the earth. I touched the soil and he loved me back.”
- That Other Person said, “Uh. You’re not putting that in my butt.”
